you know, i've been through it before. even the arguments are similar are they not?? they sound awfully familiar. i'm sure i've voiced them out before, if not, at least i've thought them before. in my head somewhere. so many things are in there. sometimes i feel like getting a shovel and throwing out some stuff. they cloud my judgements.

so in many ways we are similar. or at least i was similar to you at the same stage, going through the same stuff. so i understand what you are going through. kind of. in some ways, i envy you. and yet. you dont know. you accuse me of things you know nothing of. you think you know. you think you are the only one going through them, and that nobody knows how you feel. but you dont, and you are not. i've been through exactly the same thing once. then, did you know? now it's a different thing altogether. but now, do you know? no, you didn't and still dont. twice you've pained me this week dear girl. albeit unknowingly one of those times. but still. i dunno what can close this gap. i think nothing much, honestly.

but girl, i'm sure i've never hurt you the way you hurt me. all the time. you did it when we were younger. you are doing it again. should i say thank you? because i dont know what to do.

we are all in our little boxes, hurting seperately. not communicating, not able to. not properly anyway. but i love you all anyway. i'm sorry it doesn't seem possible to convey it face to face. it was just never done, and it's hard to break habits. i hope you know anyway.

please please please please please. if there's a god, grant me guidance and wisdom. thank you. 9:16:00 PM