swamped swamped swamped with work and stuff. damn. give me a break. =( 7:32:00 PM

T'was a distant dream.
The feelings, emotions,
Based on hopes,
Of what could be.
Based on wishes
That what had been true for them,
Could come true for her.

But reality hit,
Personalities clashed.
Ideals mismatched,
She realized.
She wasn't willing
To sacrifice.
What she had felt wasn't real, never was.

Now the tears fell,
Tears of guilt,
Of regret and fear,
Which built.
But she couldn't procrastinate,
For it couldn't be left too late,
Or everything would be worse.

She knew what she must do,
But she knew not how. 11:24:00 AM

yes it is wrong. i feel relieved. the relief is not right. it's not supposed to be there. i'm not supposed to feel relieved like that. i'm supposed to feel anything else but. i'm not supposed to feel happy. i'm not supposed to feel free. i'm not supposed to dread the day it comes when life goes back. but i do. this show something. i think i have made a decision. i will do it. i will pluck up the courage and do it. i promise. even if my reputation will be shattered. even if i will be hated. even if anything. because it wouldnt be fair any other way. because it is not fair for you. because if i carry on like that, it won'tbe happy. and so i will pluck up my courage and do what i have to do. soon. 12:38:00 PM