when you take a step back from the front, you see how much else you have been missing, so close have you been to the action. just like how when you're at a baseball game and you take a front row seat, and you see the pitcher's concentration as the ball sails from his hands, you see his relief as 'strike 1' is called, or alternatively, you see the disappointment instead, if 'ball 1' is called. but that's all you see. but sit a few rows back instead, and you see the tears of a little girl as her ice cream falls on the floor, the tenderness of her mother soothing her. you see so many other going ons. the world revolves after all even while you're not paying attention. even while you have your focus on something else.

it takes a damn lot of effort to slow down and just watch and bide your time. just like how it's excruciatingly painful to even think about practicing taiji, for how could i move with such a slow precision and calmness when i'm so used to going everywhere and doing everything like a maniac?

some people are too rash, the decisions made always spontaneous. and some people are somehow never content with what they have.

there is a particular tendency for humans to crave attention, even those that are undeserved. i'm not sure that's such a good thing.

my life was too slow moving and i was bored. i had time with my thoughts, and i became depressed. then now my life is kinda too fast moving and i'm afraid i wont be able to cope. hahaha. there's just no pleasing some people eh?

but i prefer it this way.

i don't like my lab partner. he's a bit weird. dang.



Explain the workings of a world
Devoid of melancholy.
Where angels flit in crystal spray, for
('I believe in angels' so you say).
Nab the little elves
They hide in flowers,
Alas, they know the way to the bridge of colours.
Not the gold that we seek at the end of it,
Yet please, show us, for we believe in magic.
'A little way away,
North of the oak and south of the lake,
Zenith of the area
High above all,
Aphrodite rules the floor,
Now there's real magic you'll see,
Goddess of love she ain't called for naught.'


some random shit. 6:54:00 PM