it's almost, but not quite two weeks.

i may have made the wrong decision. and it may all have been for nothing considering my new decision.

sometimes you gotta cut the bad stuff out of your life. some people are just not worth keeping. they look for you when they are bored when they need some attention from you, and you being ever obliging accomplish that for them and when they are busy, they forget you. i remember scamp - it seems eons ago. i remember the you at scamp. that's what i'm talking about. tell me. do i really look like i can always be counted on to be there, but only when people want me to be? and where am i supposed to disappear to then? when people don't want me around? you think i'm a genie? i wish too. at least i dun have to be bothered with the petty faults of humans. and i don't have to be saddled with the petty flaws of being one.

it's the season for romance. and yup. where's my place. haha. i have stopped bothering about you. november was a one off experience. perhaps it was just fun on your part. whatever the case, i'm letting go. it's easier said than done, but it's also more easy to accomplish than i expected. so goodbye. some things i'll not forget. in my life, perhaps there are only two people i can say that for.in this arena. one happened two years ago. i took six months to almost a year to let go. this time, it's taking less. it's taking less out of me too. and thats great. because you said you weren't giving me false signals. but you know not what you do. you gave excuses for what you did, and ok, i accept them. but i don't really believe you. neither do i really bother anymore. you have erased the good experiences with the bad and now i just really can't be bothered. i will keep what's good and maybe looking back in the future, at least i know that my life at some points, were happy. and i can take great comfort in that. :)

it doesn't matter that you mention j***** we all know who. at least i do. it doesn't matter that she still shows you what love should be and i probably show what love should not be. it really doesn't matter. because i too have been shown what love should not be by you. so what does it matter? it doesn't. because all throughout i was second fiddle anyway. so what does it matter. because all throughout she was still in your heart more than i ever was more than i ever could be so what does it matter.

i hate confrontations. i hate mean people. i hate nightmares.


































boo. :( 8:58:00 AM