do you know having posted the entry before, i realized that throughout the two months that he and i were together, the memories, although present were never as memorable or sweet. most seemed to be tinged with something else. at first it was because he was going into army. then it was connie, his ex, blah blah blah. the stuff somehow seemed tainted. i was never so delirious with him. i thought i knew what it was. but again, it's back to my relativity theory. relative to what i've experienced since, well. i guess. i never knew did i? i was never really happy with any of them. yes. even with you, most memories were bittersweet. but there is that sweet happy element. and a lot of times, i'm genuinely happy before i remember. then it becomes bittersweet. i don't know if i make sense. but. yea. i'd never felt that one could truly read another's mind until i met you. i could hardly believe it when you read mine like an open book. all the time. you know when i mean what i say and when i'm lying. i suspect you even know how i'm reacting to what you do. and therefore you know what to do to achieve what you want to. that's good and bad in a way. because you know me, but i dont know you as well. i remember what i once wrote somewhere else, about it being uncanny that there are so many coincidences. yet another reason why i think it's sad. it's hard to find a friend who shares so many things in common with you isnt it? oh well.

i will stop dwelling on this. 4:50:00 PM