how has it come to this? are my expectations too high? but it's only what i do for you. you hate your memories. well i hate them too. where do i fit in? hate means the feelings are still there. and indifference means they are not. not anymore. i don't see. i don't see how much you love me. i'm thinking maybe you don't. not really. i'm thinking maybe i'm giving all my heart to a guy who is after i know not what. i'm thinking maybe when he tells me he loves me, he doesn't really. i'm thinking maybe i'm just a stand in.

my standards are not too high. i don't think so. but you havent fulfilled any of them. is it so difficult that you just hold me tight and not speak. just hold me tight. let me feel like i will be safe forever as long as i still have you. someone who will hold me tight come what may. but maybe you won't. how come you don't care. you don't understand. but you don't try to understand. when you ask me something, i say nothing and you give up. then you say you are tired of these. you dont know how that makes me feel. like i'm someone not even worth the effort. i've always felt this way. so why is it that you are making me feel this way too. when i thought this time it was real. when i let myself fall. yet again. why do you not care. i'm beginning to think there'ssomething wrong with me. i might give up trying. i might just kill myself. there's no point to my life. no point. 9:57:00 PM