just did some surfing of the net. What would it have been like if I'd never left NJ? What would it have been like if I had continued shooting? I miss all those times. Maybe... but what's the use of maybes. Everything stays this way. Memories fade and friends drift. Sometimes you try so hard to hold on to something and in the end you still lose it anyway. Is it not better to let things be. Sometimes you want things to stay a certain way forever, but it's not possible and you know it. You still can't help but harbor some hope. But in the end all you are left with is the emptiness.

Heartache. A certain depression you can't get rid of. I was kind of disappointed. But not really. Maybe i've come to expect it. Maybe in time to come it wouldn't hurt anymore.

You need to prioritize. If i'm not on that priority list, then maybe it's time to rethink it.

I'm not saying I need every minute. But at least let me feel important. Right now, I just feel like a spare. NOT a good feeling. =( I'm sure it's not too much. I shouldn't even have to ask. 10:21:00 AM