so she asked. will you ever go after your friend's ex? will you? I would say no. but then again. circumstances change don't they. Who will ever want to be the third wheel given a choice.

well. it appears i'm too late. by a few months. but are you really as perfect as it seems. guess I'll never find out. not as long as she is still there. and even if she's not, so what. It seems happy endings don't come true in the real world. welcome. to wherever here is. somedays, despondancy takes over. like a thick thick sludge washing over, drenching, enveloping. the world becomes blurry and you can't get rid of the mess. and suddenly buried, you can't find a way out. then what? is that it. sometimes you get discouraged and hopelessness takes over. show the world how it is for me. but who will understand. who will sympathize. is sympathy what i'm looking for? perhaps. but probably not from those who will give it. not in the way they will.

played tennis till i'm almost dead. How will it be if life was all about tennis and romance. how nice will it be. and the sea of course. it's always about the sea.

watched all about love. the show with andy lau and charlene choi, i swear I cried so much I thought I wasn't going to stop even after the show. I eventually did of course. But it's a really really nice show.

and now back to the dilemma. why do I get the feeling i'm never ever going to make it. will someone fast forward the tape, at least i'll have some idea what's gonna happen to me. but of course not. what a ludicrous thought.

kill me please.

oh. and before I forget, happy mother's day mom. hope you will be happy. always. much happier than me. I can only be happy when the people around me are. oh. and if there are people to make me happy after I'm done making everybody else happy of course. 10:30:00 PM